"We come here to kick their butt, but they are here for a reason."

That reason, of course, is the schedule.

The quote comes from White Sox manager, and media darling, Ozzie Guillen, discussing why he likes the Twins so much. Why do you always talk about liking the Twins so much Ozzie?

"Why? Tell the people in Chicago how many playoffs the White Sox have and how many the Minnesota Twins have since I've been managing and since I've been playing," Guillen said. "I give people compliments when they need to or when they have to. ... They build good players. They play the game good. They've been playing the game like that since I was playing. And that's why I do it."

Here's a look at some of his other comments, run through a bullshit translator:

What he said: "They are supposed to be in last place this year, and look at where they are at right now."

Translated: "They aren't really that good." (BTW, how in the world are the Twins supposed to be in last place in a division also occupied by the Royals?)

What he said: "They have one of the best, to me, first basemen in baseball. And nobody says anything about this kid. If this kid was playing in New York, Boston, Chicago, the Cubs, he would be the king. He would own baseball. But he plays in Minnesota."

Translated: "If Justin Morneau played in a real city he would get the respect he deserves, but he plays in Siberia, so, you know..." (Does Ozzie forget that Morneau won the freaking MVP award in 2006?)

What I like about Ozzie is that he's a world class bullshiter. I give people compliments when they need to or when they have to… He constructs good BS. He BS's they way you're supposed to. He's been BS'ing that way since I first started BS'ing.